The Mental Load
I thought I would share something that I came across a few months ago. I am sharing this on a day off of work, a day where I am actually thinking about taking a nap because today I am exhausted. The only thing keeping me from taking a nap is the thought of everything that needs to be done. Fortunately the house cleaners already came today so the house is nice and clean. That is until I bring the toddler home. But what about the list of things that the hubby asked me to do, or the laundry that is sitting in the washer that needs to be changed over to the dryer and of course the thought of what do I plan for dinner. So many things race through my mind and it is exhausting. My husband asks me very often "what are you thinking?". There are many times I answer awe, nothing, but thats just because I have so much going on up there that I don't know what I should tell him. Some days I cant even believe how much goes through my mind. What about you? What goes through your mind?
This is a very good illustration of the mental load for a female. I am not saying that every house hold is like this, or that every female is like this. I am not saying that my house hold is like this, but there are parts of it that I think I can relate to. I hope you enjoy it, since there were parts that had me laughing to were maybe even a tad bit of pee came out. It is a bit long, so maybe try and snag 5-10 minutes to your self to enjoy this.
By the way... I don't necessarily agree with this part. It's not that they refuse to take on the mental load, its possible that they don't know how and or their mental load is full with other stuff. I know sometimes the guy in my life is exhausted mentally with all the work stuff going on, what he needs in a specific vehicle, what he needs to take care of the next day or even finish up that night. I think that part should be taken with a grain of salt before the assumption is made that they "refuse" to take on the mental load.
Again I don't think it's fair to say that we are the only ones in charge of the household, but I will say we do majority of the work for the house hold.
I know some companies are making changes to these types of benefits for the dads. Before any of us complain, moms, think about it for a second, would you want him to stay home longer? What would he do? How would he help? Or would he be in the way? Get us out of our routine? I personally love my husband being home and although he does sometimes tweak the routine, he does spend good time with our kids and would also love to stay home.
Leisure time... seriously what is that. Remember that nap I said I wanted to take and feel like I need it. We all know that nap didn't happen. That leisure time goes out the window as soon as started to think about those things that are on my list to do that I have not gotten to in way too long.
I know it says the French Institute so you might be thinking does this apply... let me just say does it matter what institute. Think about your life, your friends, family, etc. It is very possible that this is more than just in France.
There is progress being made for more paternity leave. Just this year I know of a large company that is now giving 6 weeks for paternity leave. WOW!!! I sure hope more companies follow. In Canada they give the moms a whole year off and in South Africa they give them 6 months. Dang! That is amazing for the moms and think how wonderful it would be for the men to have a month or even 6 weeks?
As I mentioned at the beginning, I don't agree with all of this, but the mental load on women is real. There are a lot of men that are amazing that do help with this mental load and there are others that maybe need to learn about how to really help.
Hope you have enjoyed this from Emma.